What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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