Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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