I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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