Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
