Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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