before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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