i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
