i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
