You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
