What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
