i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
