I wish I could teleport
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
