....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
