why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
