I need help removing her.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
