He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
