"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I want a musical about memes.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize