I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
