It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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