i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize