I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
