so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
