whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So many bounce houses so little time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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