problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
