Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
