Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
