he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
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