he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
