i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
