They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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