You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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