Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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