im holly from the hills drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
