I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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