I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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