I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
