More tranny stories later!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
