I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You made out with two different species that night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize