i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
