it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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