i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
