i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
