i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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