there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
