Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize