Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
