He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
