So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
