Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
