The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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