No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
