did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize