Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
