did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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