oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
