she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
