I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
