I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
