I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
