erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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