remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Rumble strips road head = magical
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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