Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
