I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
