just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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