Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
