No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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