I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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