fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
