I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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