I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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