There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
