i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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