escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
