I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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