We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
